it's like iHOP with fire
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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