the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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