thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
