they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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