I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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