what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
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Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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