He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
