i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
