Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
