come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
