I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
