my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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