Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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