Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
