At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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