Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
