Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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