he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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