Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
