Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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