Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
