Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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