But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I want her autograph on my taint
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
