You just made me feel so damn special
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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