I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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