naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
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I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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