i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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