Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
