No awkward lesbian experiences without me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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