well you can't waste a boner
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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