But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
