based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
