so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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