Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
