It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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