the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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