nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
