I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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