My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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