my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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