I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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