I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
