There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You need a sexual gate keeper
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
