i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
FUCK WHALES
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
