White coat. Heels.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
