just tell him i said nine months
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
