The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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