I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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