Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
