Don't make out with my wife yet
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
