Do you still have your period?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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