I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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