Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
